Do you know how it is to wait for something for so long? Then to have the hour so near, and know that it won’t be as you dreamed… not a heaven, but rather a hell? To love something so dearly, but on the other side of the coin to be pained and so near repulsion?
I have recently been heard to have said, “It is a difficult time to be a teenager, a difficult time to grow up.” I must also recognize that it is also a difficult time to raise a child, as well. It seems that no matter what you do, you are wrong. The big city or a little town? Control, or loosen the reins? Mistakes of the first go around 180©’ed. To no avail. Where exactly is the happy median?
So the million dollar question: What went wrong? How do genetics play in a child’s development? He was removed from the bad seed, and given the opportunity to spread his wings, but instead, it appears that the apple does not fall far from the tree. Now, despite the junctions and through no fault but his own, the son walks the path of the father.
Many of us have had difficult childhoods. To use this excuse is simply that: an excuse. It seems to me to be one of avoidance of the real culprit. At some point in time, we must accept the responsibility for our own actions. We all face the consequences of the decisions that we make. This requires honesty. How do you deal with a prevaricator? A kleptomaniac? A manipulator? A delinquent? How about when all of these are rolled up in one person, and that one person is your son?
I wonder what’s going to happen in the next two months, the time of your transition from a child to a man, from juvenile to adult. Not only do the opportunities broaden, but so do the penalties. The revocation of my maternal status was said in anger, but I wonder how much of it was heartfelt? I also wonder what you will do the next time you leave?